Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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