oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
