You smell like stripper and shame
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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