so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
