He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize