And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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