Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
