I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
