i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
