The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
