He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you had me at cake vodka
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize