question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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