best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.