just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.