i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can