R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
