how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
