One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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