You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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