It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
whose parrot is this?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
