He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
