The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
