we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize