Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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