my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
