Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
