Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
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repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
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It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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