decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize