i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
