dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
