You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
