You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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