i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
