those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
