She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
