If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
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I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize