Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
