He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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