I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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