Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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