Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
