my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We don't watch enough power rangers
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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