I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
now i know why i became what i already was.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
