Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
