your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
