It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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