Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
