Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend