I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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