she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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