David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
