Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
