your thong is hanging out like whoa
Don't make out with my wife yet
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize