you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
