Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
