I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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