There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
