So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
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his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
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more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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