as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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